How Do I Say I Love You
by Allieamyxxx
Summary: Edward and Bella have been dating for a while now, and Edward's ready to say those three words. Will he manage to spit the words out? Rated MA for Lemons. Over 18s only please. *ONE SHOT* - Now translated into Spanish - link on profile.


**Okay, It's been a while, but I've had this little story in my head so I thought I've get it down hope you enjoy. (Over 18s only)**

**I don't own Twilight. Bad times.  
**

~Edward~

I ran my hand through my hair for what I was sure was the billionth time that day. It was sticking up all over the place, not that that was unusual or anything, just I always thought 'sex hair' looked better than 'stressed hair'. Why was I nervous? I'd been dating Bella for about two months and I was about to say the three words that make every typical playboy run away with their dick between their legs. _I love you. _Two thoughts were running through my head at that point; _how hard can it be? _And _how the fuck can anyone do this? _I knew I had to tell her, hell, I knew I loved her the moment her eyes met mine. That spark is now my sole reason for existence.

_**3 months ago**_

_I was running to Pixie's Dust, my sister's Alice's coffee shop. I'd been held up at the office, again, and only had fifteen minutes to get food. Fortunately, the coffee shop was only two blocks away, so if I ran, I could get there and back in less than ten minutes and eat my food when I got a chance during the day. It wasn't ideal, but I could never be bothered to make my own and the office canteen was god awful. It was as I was running into the stop that I saw her, or more precisely, ran her over. She was a beautiful woman, with beautiful, long, dark, brown hair that fell to just below her breasts, and fuck were they nice breasts, pert and round, not too big, just the right size for my palm. I caught her eye and gasped. I fucking gasped. She had deep chocolate eyes that any fucker could get lost in, and fuck me if I didn't. I stared at her, for god knows how long. A spark or some kind of electric charge flowed between us. She looked away breaking the connection, and I immediately felt lost and empty. My mouth was wide open like a fish, god I probably looked a dumbass._

_Her face was bright red from embarrassment as she lay, sprawled out on the coffee shop floor._

_Finally remembering how to speak English, I held my hand out to her. "God I'm such an idiot, are you ok?"_

_She nodded, not looking me in the eye, and took my hand gingerly. The spark I felt when our eyes met was nothing compared to actually touching her. My entire body came alight and I suddenly had this strange feeling of absolute completeness. I apologized to her again, and was about to ask her for her name and number but she bolted out of the place after saying "Thank you" so quietly I wasn't sure I actually heard her._

_I walked back to my office very confused as to what had just happened. This brown haired, brown eyed woman with the beautiful tits just rendered me fucking speechless. _No one _makes Edward Cullen speechless. _

_It was only when I got back to the office that I realized._

_I forgot to get my lunch!_

I didn't see her again for two weeks. But not once did she leave my thoughts. If I wasn't thinking of her perky tits or her beautiful eyes, I was thinking of how the blush and innocence of her face made me want to protect her and fuck her at the same time. Or the strange electric charge that flowed between us when our eyes locked for a few seconds. I was in fucking trouble.

_**2 ½ months ago**_

_Alice was throwing another one of her 'famous' parties, where she would invite a woman who she specifically wanted me to meet. Basically she wanted to set up her big brother so he didn't die alone, an old play boy. For Christ's sake! I was 27! Far from old. But since she married her soul mate Jasper 2 years ago at the ripe old age of 22, she has been hell bent on finding my soul mate. It does my fucking head in. And not to be overly egotistical or anything, but I knew I wasn't bad on the looks front. I was a decent 6'2'' with green eyes and reddy-brown hair which I couldn't style to save my life. It just did its own thing. But the ladies loved it. I simply hadn't found the one to settle down with, although the beautiful brunette that haunted my dreams came pretty damn close._

_I jogged up the stairs to her apartment and knocked on the door._

_Alice opened it almost immediately "You know brother, you don't have to knock." _

_I knew this but I'd suffered the repercussions of not knocking. I had recurring nightmares of Jasper's white ass for weeks. I shuddered at that memory. _

_I walked in and did the usual scan of the room. Emmett, my college roommate and now business partner of Cullen & McCarthy accountants, was sitting with his very heavily pregnant wife Rosalie and apparently in the middle of an argument; my money's on Emmett left his dirty underwear on the floor again, after he was given an hour long lecture by Rosalie about it last week. There were a couple of other guys I recognized from previous parties, Ben Cheney, Tyler Crowley and Mike Newton. Those guys were okay, but I couldn't stand to be in a conversation with Tyler or Mike for more than a few minutes. These guys were my age but still acted like your typical frat boys, constantly wanting to get drunk and get pussy. Fuckers. There were a couple of girls who kept checking me out, both tall, one had strawberry blonde hair, the other had shoulder length light blonde hair. The opposite of my mystery girl. _

_Alice pulled me out of my reverie. "Come on brother, I have someone you need to meet."_

_She pulled me into the kitchen, and there she was. There, taking cookies out the oven, was my mystery girl. She was even more beautiful than I remembered._

"_Edward, this is Bella. She just moved in across the hall. Bella, this is my brother, Edward."_

_She offered her hand for me to shake. As I took it I pulled out the famous Cullen smile. "Hi, nice to see you again. Don't worry, this time I'll catch you if you fall." I know, I couldn't believe the shit that came out of my mouth either._

_She blushed bright red and turned back to the cookies. I continually stared at the beautiful shape of her body sister cleared her throat. _

"_I'm confused, have you two met before?"_

_That's when I remembered the pixie was still there._

_Bella stayed silent, and I didn't want to humiliate her._

"_Yeah we were at Dust the other day and our coffees got mixed up."_

_Luckily, the pixie bought it._

"_Was it Jessica who took your orders? I swear that girl is beyond useless." She shook her head. "Anyway, as I was saying, Bella just moved across the hall and I was hoping if you would help me show her around the city. You've lived here longer than I have and probably know more about it than I do." _

_And there it was, my sister's attempt at subtlety. Oh well at least she picked the woman I wanted anyway to set me up with. And it was clearly a set up. It is true I've lived in New York longer than she, I've lived here 9 years, she's lived here 7. We both moved here for college, Alice determined on being fast tracked because she missed me so much (or at least that was the excuse in my head). _

_I rolled my eyes and smiled at Bella, who had lifted her gaze from the cookies and was now looking straight at me, with the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen .I was stuck._

_End Flashback_

I pretty much stayed by her side for the rest of the night. Every word she said, every look she threw me, captivated me. I felt this uncontrollable need to be near her always. We saw each other often after that night. I went round to Alice's as often as I could and the six of us (Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Bella and I) would hang out together almost every night. Then the next Saturday, Alice announced that we were all going clubbing that night.

_**2 months 6 days ago**_

"_Edward get your act together." The booming voice of my ever-loving best friend announced as we were driving over to the girls to pick them up._

"_What do you mean, Emmett?"_

"_Oh come off it Edward, you know exactly who he means." Jasper threw in his two cents._

_Alice decided she wanted a spa day with the girls so we guys got ready at my place whilst the girls prepared for the apocalypse in hers._

"_Don't you go around telling me you don't like her Eddie. Just get your shit together and ask her out." I growled at Emmett's use of the horrible nickname._

"_Why should I? She won't want to go out with me. Why should she, she's beautiful." Yeah I was being a whiny bitch. Sue me._

"_Are you kidding? She is into you. Just get your head out of your ass and ask her out."_

_The car stopped and I almost ran to Alice's apartment. Rosalie opened the door looking like a model in a knee-length red dress, even with her huge baby bump. Alice was right behind her, and in her true pixie fashion, wore a short black strapless dress with a flower belt. We all went inside, when Bella came out of the bathroom. I swear to God I was so close to losing my shit. Her hair was curls and pinned up but it fell off one shoulder. She was wearing a skin tight, midnight blue halter neck dress with matching shoes which can only be described as' fuck me' heels. All I could think about after seeing her like that was those heels digging into my ass as I pounded into her over and over. But I digress._

_When we got to the club, Bella decided to order a screaming orgasm. Yeah, not helping with the whole heels-in-ass-cause-tent-in-pants problem I was having. I downed my beer as we sat down at a booth. I, of course, sat down next to Bella, at the insistence of my irritating little sister. _I love her so much.

_In about five minutes I learnt two very important things about Bella. _

_Number One – She was an unbelievable lightweight when it comes to cocktails._

_Number Two – Drunk Bella was without a doubt the sexiest thing I'd ever seen. (But really, when was Bella not the sexiest thing I'd ever seen?)_

_She rested her head on my shoulder and her hand kept wandering up and down my thigh. Yes my friend, a drunk Bella is a handsy Bella. Edward likey._

_This invariably caused problems for me, as I sure as hell didn't want to end up with a crusty stain on my pants in the dickular area. And that was fast becoming where I was headed. In the end, I had to take her hand away from my leg and hold it securely in my own. My cock let out a huge cry of disappointment. _

_About half-way through the night, Alice decided we all had to get up and dance. I was beginning to hate her, my dick did not deserve the cruel punishment he was about to receive. But holy hell, what a punishment it was. Bella was facing away from me, grinding her ass cheeks into my erection, in such an erotic way that, for the second time that night, I nearly came in my pants. I have no clue if Bella knew what powers she held over me, but if she did she was a cruel vixen. If she didn't, then she was a naive, cruel vixen. Either way, my erection was painful, and there was nothing on this earth that could've stopped me from doing what I did next._

_I grabbed her arm, spun her around so that her eyes could meet mine. I paused for a beat, then kissed her with all the passion and horniness that was wound up in my body. There was nothing sweet or romantic about this kiss. But the best thing was, she met me with an equal amount of passion. Her taste was exquisite. Something uniquely Bella but mixed with the creaminess of her cocktails. It was eclectic. Our tongues fought for dominance as our hands clawed at each other, desperate to cling onto whatever we could. I was ready to rip off that dress that had been tempting me all night when the most annoying voice in the world started singing;_

"_Eddie's gonna get some, Eddie's gonna get some. Ow! Rosie!" _

_Yep that's Emmett, the cock-blocking shithead. However, it wasn't till then that I remembered that Bella and I were in the middle of the fucking dance floor. Shit, now I was going to have to thank that cock-blocking shithead. Only in my mind though, he didn't need the ego boost._

_Clearly, Emmett's interruption brought Bella out of her haze as well as her eyes met mine and her cheeks burned bright red once again, before she ran (or stumbled whilst attempting to run) out the front door. I ran after her, I couldn't let her get away now. Not after that._

_I called her name once I caught up with her. She stopped but refused to turn around._

"_Bella, talk to me, please." I gently tugged her arm so she'd look at me._

"_Oh God, Edward, I'm so embarrassed. I've never acted like that with anyone before, and now you probably think that I'm a whore who goes out doing this all the time. Ugh, and what do your friends think of me now?" She turned away from me again, so I moved round to look into her eyes._

"_Hey, first of all, you've met _our_ friends right? They do much worse than what we did in there on a daily basis. They understand. Secondly, why in the name of God would I think you were a whore? I think you're the most beautiful," I kissed her on her left cheek, "sweetest," kissed her on her right cheek, "smartest" nose, this time, "and sexiest girl I have ever met" I kissed her softly on the lips,"and I would be honored if you would go on a date with me next week." _Where the hell was this courage coming from? Oh well, I wasn't complaining.

_I looked into her eyes and watched her perfect smile as it grew on her face._

"_Yes, I'd love to go out with you." She kissed me this time, with passion, but with a beautiful softness that only my Bella could replicate. Mmm _my _Bella. I loved the way that sounded. We stood there for a few minutes when I heard the rabble. _

"_Come on guys, you ready to go?" Emmett yelled. I swear, inside he's a five year old child with no volume control._

_We both nodded and the group piled into the cab that Jasper (the only level headed one of the group) had hailed. We stopped off at Alice and Bella's building first, and Jasper and I quickly hopped out to say goodbye to our girls. I got Bella to type her number into my phone so that I could call her about our date._

"_Thanks Bella," I said as she handed me back my phone. "Sweet dreams beautiful."_

_She replied with a bashful "You too." before quickly kissing me and scuttling off into her building. _

_End Flashback_

The next day, all my nerves about Bella returned. It took me three attempts to call her about my plans for our date the following Friday. When she agreed, I'm not too proud to admit I may have squealed. After I hung up with her obviously. And it wasn't a girlish squeal, it was definitely more of a manly grunt. Because that's me, manly. _Ahem. _

_**2 months ago**_

_I was practically shitting myself on the way to picking up Bella for our date. I had everything planned out, right down to Bella's favorite meal in the picnic basket. _Thank you God for nosey siblings. _I knocked on her door since the doorman let me up having known already that I was Alice's brother. When she opened it, I forgot how to breathe. She wore a black maxi skirt with a dark green vest top and sandals with no heel. She was perfect._

"_Hey." Words finally came out of my mouth._

"_Hey you." She replied. "So, are you going to tell me what we're doing and why I'm wearing 'comfortable shoes'?" _

"_All in due time, my dear. All in due time." I took her hand and kissed the inside of her palm. "Ready to go?"_

"_Absolutely." She smiled and pulled the door to her apartment closed._

_We walked to the car in a comfortable silence, just taking in each other's presence, whilst I drove her to the most special place I could think of. My meadow. _

_When I pulled up, Bella looked at me like I'd gone mad. "Why are we stopped at the side of the road Edward."_

_I simply smiled at her as I collected the picnic basket from the back seat and took her hand. "Follow me."_

_I led her onto the forest path by the side of the road._

"_But Edward, I'll fall!" She looked genuinely worried about this predicament, so I endeavored to calm her nerves._

"_Bella, I promise, I won't let you fall. Ever." I could tell this didn't placate her, but she still walked on. I held on to her tightly to prove a point as we made the five minute trek up the path to the meadow._

"_Oh Edward" were the only words she said, but the look on her face told me even more. She was in awe of the beauty of the meadow at twilight. I know this, because that exact same look appeared on my face when I first found this place. _

"_Do you like it?" I placed the basket on the ground and wrapped my arms around her._

"_Edward it's beautiful. I didn't know places like this actually existed." She put her arms over my own but didn't turn around. We both just stared at the beauty in front of us._

"_I know. This is where I go to relax. I've never brought anyone else here before."_

"_It's perfect. Thank you for sharing it with me." She turned around in my arms and kissed me lightly. I smiled. We just stared into each other's eyes for a few minutes, neither of us speaking, just having a silent conversation as we looked at each other with such passion in our eyes._

_After a while I eventually pulled away. I asked as I laid the blanket out and opened the basket. I pulled out a couple of candles and lit them._

"_Hungry?" _

_She nodded. "Starved."_

_I handed her a plate of mushroom ravioli. It was cold, but I knew it would still be nice._

"_Mmm my favorite. Thank you Edward."_

"_No problem, Love. Champagne?" Again she nodded so I poured us each a glass of champagne and we both ate, with pleasant conversation flowed between us._

_Once we'd finished, I put our plates away and we both lay back on the blanket staring at the stars, whilst holding hands. I had never realized how simply holding hands could be so intimate._

"_Edward," Bella broke the comfortable silence between us, and rolled over to look at me, "Thank you for bringing me here." She kissed me softly._

"_You're welcome, Love. There isn't a place on Earth I'd rather be right now than here with you." Thank Christ Emmett wasn't present for that; otherwise I'd have had to give up my man-card for the cheesy shit I was coming out with. Yet I meant every single word._

_Bella smiled and kissed me again, but this time it was passion laced with lust. I loved it. She rolled on top of me as we deepened the kiss. It was a warm night, in the middle of summer, so I didn't feel the cold at all when she slowly unbuttoned my shirt, pressing small kisses where she uncovered a new patch of skin. Then once she'd completely unbuttoned my shirt, she slowly ran her tongue back up my chest along my neck to my ear. I could feel my eyes rolling back into my head as she lightly sucked on my earlobe before kissing her way back to my mouth._

_At this point, I'd lost all of my restraint and rolled us over so that I was hovering on top of her. I kissed her more roughly now, trying to portray all my feelings towards her, as well as my inane horniness which was overpowering me as I tried (not very hard) to be gentle. My substantial erection was probing her leg as I kissed my way down her collar bone. As tenderly as I could, I pulled her top over her head and cupped her breasts in my hands. She moaned softly as I uncovered one of her breasts and latched onto the nipple. I dragged her skirt down her legs and removed her shoes all the while running my tongue down any part of her body I could reach. When I relieved her feet of her shoes, I gently sucked on each of her toes before making my way back up her perfect body._

_Her hair was sprawled out behind her head. She looked like an angel, sent to rescue me from the fiery pits of hell. I had to stop and just look at her. When she realized I'd stopped, she pulled my lips back to hers and kissed me with as much vigor as before, to pull me out of my thoughts. It worked. I kicked off my shoes and unbuckled my belt and pants and began pushing them down with her legs until I could eventually kick them off, all the while not removing her lips from mine. Our hands were searching each other's bodies, learning them, discovering them. _

_I removed Bella's bra from her body and felt the soft silkiness of her breasts in my palm. I rolled her nipples my thumbs and forefingers and she moaned my name. Loudly. It was the hottest shit I'd ever heard. I moved my hands down to her panties and carefully pulled them down, teasing her. Another thing I'd learnt about Bella Swan. She likes the teasing. I licked my way up her leg, stopping just short of her soaking wet core. The smell was intoxicating, but I resisted for just a little bit longer as I moved to her other leg. She let out a long groan of frustration. When I reached her centre again I pressed a kiss to her mound._

"_Bella, may I taste you?"_

"_Yes, please!" She half-moaned, half-cried. I smirked, glad to know I had this much of an effect on her before I dove in. First, I licked, from the bottom of her pussy to her clit. I circled my tongue around her clit, and she started writhing, hating and loving how much I was teasing her. Then I thrust my tongue inside her core, over and over and over again. Faster, faster. Then I moved my mouth back to her bundle of nerves and sucked as hard as I could as I slowly teased her with my fingers. Then I thrust my fingers into her pussy and curled them to hit her g-spot. She came undone almost instantaneously. It was the most beautiful, erotic and intimate scene I'd ever witnessed. She was a Goddess. So perfect._

_I licked her juices off my fingers before moving up her body and kissing her with as much passion as I could gather. She rolled us both over so that she was now on top. She had a devilish look in her eye as she released my cock from my boxers. She kissed the tip and licked the slit before engulfing as much as she could of me in her mouth. I let out a hiss and a moan as the unadulterated pleasure flooded my body. The pleasure was so much, but I didn't want it to end like this, I regretfully pulled her away._

"_Stop love, I want to be inside you when I come." I reached over to grab the condom from my wallet (yes I was very ambitious) when she stopped me. _

"_I'm on the pill," she blushed, "and I trust you."_

_Kissing her again with all that I had, I rolled us over and slowly entered her until I was completely sheathed in her warmth. Neither of us moved as we both adjusted to this glorious feeling. After a few moments she rocked her hips, and I began to thrust in and out of her, setting a slow rhythm. _

_After a few minutes, Bella began to cry "Harder, Edward! Faster!" I began pounding into her, what had started out as gentle love making had turned into something feral. So animalistic. Yet it was perfect. The energy that flowed through us was magical, I never wanted it to end._

_However, I felt myself getting closer to completion, I didn't want to come without her, so I began to tweak her nub in time with my thrusts to drive her insane._

"_Come with me, Beautiful." I looked straight into her eyes. It was too much, and I spilt my seed inside of her as she came undone around me. It was simply perfect._

_Neither of us said a word or even moved for a little while after us, both content to just lie in each other's arms. But real life was slowly creeping back, and we realized we had to leave, it was starting to get colder, and being naked outside was probably not the best idea. We got dressed, packed up the rest of our stuff and walked down to my car._

_As I walked Bella back to her door I couldn't help but feel perfectly blessed at how right it all felt. I was about to say goodbye at the door when she said the most amazing words I'd ever heard._

"_Would you like to come in?"_

_End Flashback_

We made love for the rest of the night, eventually collapsing in exhaustion. Waking up next to her for the first time was perfect, and since then, we have only spent a few nights apart.

But back to my present dilemma.

I was cooking Spaghetti Bolognese for dinner. I thought if I said the words in a place where I'm more comfortable, I wouldn't screw it up. Although to be honest, it seemed I that I spent more time over at Bella's place than my own, but that's just semantics.

I heard the front door open.

"Sweetie?" My Bella called.

"Kitchen!" God the domestication was ridiculous yet perfect. I could imagine this happening in years to come; one of us at home, cooking dinner waiting for the other to come home from work. Maybe a couple of kids running around… _Slow down! One step at a time! Wow I really should've just torn up my man-card._

"Hey sweetie," Bella wrapped her arms around my waste. I turned around and kissed her.

"Hey yourself, beautiful." I couldn't stop smiling whenever I saw her, so it was no surprise that I had a stupid grin on my face.

We made simple small talk over dinner, and afterwards I put on one of my favorite songs, Debussy's Clair de Lune.

"Dance with me?" I held out my hand. She smiled and took it and we slowly danced in the middle of my living room.

I gently nudged Bella's chin with my finger so I could look into her eyes.

"You're perfect," I whispered. _Okay, _I could hear the voices in my head,_ It's go time. Just spit it out!_

"Bella, I –" The rest of the words never came. I was too tongue-tied. Bella looked at me with confusion.

"Yes Edward?" Her eyes bore into mine with such love and devotion, well at least that's what it seemed like, but my words wouldn't come. So I did the worse thing I could do.

I chickened out.

"You look beautiful tonight, Bella."

"Oh," she said, a flash of what appeared to be disappointment came over her eyes. I came to the conclusion that I was imagining things and did what all cowards to at a time like this. I kissed her. I tried to show her every bit of love I felt in the way I worshiped her body as I took her to bed. With each touch on her skin, with each kiss, with every thrust into her hot, trembling core, I tried to tell her I loved her. But the words were never once uttered. I fell asleep with the love of my life in my arms, but I was too chicken to tell her so.

The next morning I woke up to a tickling feeling on my chest. I opened my eyes and saw that Bella was doodling patterns on my chest. I moaned, briefly forgetting how low I was that I couldn't tell my own girlfriend that I was in love with her.

After a while Bella told me to lie on my side so that she could doodle on my back, and my job was to guess what she was drawing. First she drew a heart. I guessed that one straight away. Then she said she was going to write on my back with her finger and that I had to guess what she was saying, but I wasn't allowed to guess before she'd finished. I agreed and she started.

First I felt three lines in the shape of an 'I'.

Next an 'L'

Then an 'O'

'V'

'E'

At this point I could get what she was saying and the grin on my face grew huge! But I kept silent as per my strict orders as she continued.

'Y'

'O'

'U'

'E'

'D'

'W'

'A'

'R'

'D'

She took her finger away and I could feel her hold her breath as I rolled over and kissed her. Really, what else would you expect me to do. Oh yeah, what I did next.

"I love you too, My Bella."

**Hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you think :)**


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